My mothering misses

If I can be quite frank...well, sometimes this mothering gig is hard work. Not because I don't like being your mum, no, quite the opposite. I am loathe to admit it but occasionally in the sleep-deprived hum drum of it all I've had some near misses and sizeable ones at that. First, there was the time around your 7 month birthday when I put you on the bench while I was preparing dinner. I just couldn't bare to hear you wail any longer and in those early months you did A LOT OF CRYING. The inevitable happened - you rolled off and onto the floor. Thank goodness the lino cushioned your fall and there wasn't any damage. I vowed never to do it again. Then about a month ago while making our morning coffees I propped you up next to the coffee machine so you could watch me froth milk as you always seem so intrigued by the noise. In a somewhat serious voice I told you 'Not to touch anything,' but, low and behold the moment I turned my head away you grabbed the metal frothing wand and well you can probably work out the rest. It was a superficial burn and nothing a little cold water couldn't fix but it could have been worse. 

If these examples seem bad then the hands down worst moment in my mothering journey thus far would have to be one that haunts me every time I step onto the road outside our home. It happened late one afternoon a few weeks ago. We'd been outside playing and I rushed indoors to check on some veges I'd forgotten about on the stove. You followed behind stopping just outside the back door and I could hear you chatting away. I didn't think to shut the gate. I wasn't planning to be long and besides you've never ventured too far away, preferring to hide behind the car or play in the sand if the urge takes you outside. That afternoon was different though. I was part way through blending the veggies and in an end-of-the-day daze when I realised I could no longer hear your chatter. I ran outside but you were nowhere to be seen so I came back indoors and made my way, one by one, through each room of our ridiculously big house knowing your fondness for hide-and-seek.

After not being able to find you I ran back outside to the end of the drive way and there you were all the way on the other side of the road being nursed by strangers. I got over to you as fast as I could, shaking and in shock. You'd managed to cross one of the busiest roads in Perth during peak hour traffic and had come out unscathed. I felt incredibly lucky. I cried for about two hours afterwards as the gravity of the situation hit home. I could have lost you that afternoon and there would be nobody to blame but myself.

It was a stark reminder that there is no room for complacency when it comes to minding a young child. Yes, I should have known better and I should have thought twice about what I was doing but sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in the moment. I won't be able to look at Guildford Road in the same way ever again, let alone cross the road without being reminded of what might have been.

I suppose we all have our moments, even days, of crappy parenting. You know, the ones we wish we could erase from our minds forver. Well this moment is one I won't forget. You deserve nothing less than to be raised in safe surroundings and on this day I failed you. While it's a terrible thing to have to go through as a parent I'm so grateful for this experience. I will never take you for granted again, I promise.

May you always be safe xx